What to do after the first date
So, you’ve finally had your first date and it all went well? Then it’s time to follow up and contact your date! There are several ways to approach this. Use your own common sense to follow up best, as my internet article won’t give you all the answers, just some ideas.
Write a nice message
If you have the impression that both of you enjoyed the time you spent together, Tell them! If you are not sure how the first date went, the following check list should help you asses the dates success:
– Was anyone arrested?
– Did anyone cry?
– Were the tears due to anything other than the amazingly hilarious joke you just told?
– Did the date get cut short?
If you answered yes to any of the above, commiserations, things might not have gone according to plan. My advice to you is to brush yourself off and try again. Bad dates sometimes happen. If you however had a good time, then there is a very good chance your date did too! People always like positive feedback. Depending on the person, after a date, they might be feeling a little insecure, even if it all went well. A simple, short and positive message to your date is a polite, non intrusive way to follow up. Don’t wait three days or any madness like that. Relationships are not a video game with cheat codes to success. Relationships require a hefty dose of honesty, so you might as well start early if this person looks like a keeper.
Try to include some compliments in your message as well – but don’t sound too cheesy/creepy. In general, keep compliments neutral and avoid mentioning physical features. For extra thoughtfulness, try to reference a particular part of the date which you enjoyed.
Next step: next date
When you have exchanged a couple of messages after your first date, you both have to decide if you want to meet up again. If you have the feeling that the two of you want to see each other more, take the initiative and arrange to meet again. It is usually customary to wait for a few messages to exchange back and forth about the first date before mentioning anything about the second. This is in order to test the waters and make sure you are both on the same page. It may be the case that your date is too insecure or shy to ask, and maybe he or she is expecting you to do so, so as not to seem too hasty. The variety of mind games we humans play with ourselves is truly baffling. If you really want to go on a second date – just ask! You will know when is the best time to do so.
That’s all well and good, but my first date went terribly!
So you made your date cry? You were late? You forgot your wallet and ordered the steak? It’s ok, genuine mistakes happen. Learn, and move on. If you think extraordinary circumstances were to blame for the catastrophe, it is always worth sending an email either apologizing or explaining.
Wait…unless they made you cry. If you never want to see this person again, and everything went awfully, it’s still polite to send that person a message thanking them for the date. After that message is sent, your social obligations to this person ceases. You have been open, polite and cordial. If the person persists in contacting you, maintain silence and either report or block the user (most sites have this feature now a days for just such a reason). If you gave them your phone number and they gave you herpes simplex, see a doctor, change your phone number and tell me the story.